You always show up when I need you least of all. You always try to ruin my plans, make my dreams sound ridiculous and stop me in my tracks. All you seem to want to do is keep me stuck where I am, in that incredibly uncomfortable comfort zone.
Your joy is in making me suffer while longing for seemingly unattainable dreams and fantasies. You’re so good at making me believe that I’m not able to make those big bold things happen anyway. You’re always there, waiting to hit me in the face with all the risks, the consequences and the danger of even moving a tiny little inch towards making my dreams come true.
Well, I’m done.
I want to do the things I care about, dream about, get excited about – and I’m willing to take you with me on my terrifying journey. I’m willing to jump, to just let go and take the plunge. Because if I don’t, I might regret it one day – and that thought hurts more than feeling the evil sting of fear.
Every time I’ve wanted to do something beyond the ordinary, you’ve been there trying to make me shy away from taking that bold step. Time and time again, I’ve decided to take the step anyway and, as a result, managed to take my life to the next level. But like you know so well, you made me go through hell for it. You were there, lurking in the corners, striking when I was lonely and didn’t see what would be coming next. Those moments when I had to rely on fate, you nearly made it impossible to breathe. You practically tore me to bits. But I persevered anyway.
And so, dear fear, that’s what I’m going to do again today. I’m going to take the highway – whether it leads me to heaven or to hell – I’m going to take it to go above, beyond and reach for the stars. Because I’ve only got one life and I want to live it to the max. And if that means I’ll have to deal with you over and over again, then so be it.
Before ending this letter, I want to thank you though. You see, looking back at every time you scared the shit out of me, I’ve now realized that it was actually a sign that I was on to something highly important. The harder you screamed, the more I actually cared. So now, dear fear, I’ve decided to use you as my guide instead of as my enemy. And that’s how the tables have turned.
So please, shout a little louder, make me suffer a little more and guide me on my way to bigger and better things.
A Fearless Female
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