Women Are Weak
Or so I thought.
I thought being a girl was a synonym for being weak, I thought it meant being less than, being too sensitive and therefore a burden. I thought it was wrong to be weak, so at an incredibly young age I decided I wanted to be a boy. And so I was – sort of.
I developed into a tomboy who would climb trees, wear batman outfits to carnival parties and always hang out with the guys. I would develop into a rather wild teenager, getting piercings, wearing baggy clothes and being a skater girl – trying to fit in with the skater boys, because that felt safe.
To be honest, I felt either intimidated or irritated by really girly girls. I didn’t really know how to deal with women well, except for some girlfriends of mine. For the rest I was always focussed on the guys, trying to be liked by them by being exactly like them. I would morph into the kind of guy I wanted to be with so they would see me. I would agree with them, like what they liked and even wear what they wore.
I basically never really developed my feminine side and now I know why. I found out on the other side of the world while sitting on a stool on a stage in front of about two hundred other women. It was at my first live event for the Divine Living Academy in Maui, Hawaii when my mentor Gina DeVee asked me: “We often try to look like the person we want to be loved by most. Was that your father for you?”
I didn’t understand her question.
For as long as I can remember I had always tried to be like my mum and had taken her side when it was between her and my dad. Me wanting to be like my dad? What a weird question – I couldn’t even see how that could be possible. There were so many things about him I didn’t resonate with that I found it simply outrageous.
Until we had to sit down and write our parents a letter in which we thanked them for what they had done for us. And there I saw it, right there on that page. He had always seen me, been there for me and, actually, I was exactly like my father. I had just disliked the things in him that I hadn’t allowed myself to be; very outgoing, extremely loving and affectionate and deeply sensitive.
I saw myself in him and I also saw how I had tried to be like him to be seen by him. I had turned myself into a boy so that he would notice me and not see me as weak. By seeing that and realising that he had actually loved and seen me all along, I was able to embrace the parts of myself I saw in him and I could set myself free. Finally.
I saw that I didn’t have to be like him to be seen by him. He had always seen me and had always loved me and it was safe to be myself, to be a girl, a woman. Seeing this truth has brought about a massive shift for me. I can finally be myself completely and know that that is fine. I can be a woman and be safe. It doesn’t mean I’m weak – at all.
By owning my femininity and being the beautiful woman that I am now, I am naturally strong. I don’t have to fight for it anymore. I have gone from compliance, to defiance, to alliance. I now feel I’m truly in alignment with my feminine side and it’s the greatest joy ever since I finally get to be who I really am: a woman.
Being a woman means being naturally strong, receiving, loving, sensitive, caring, beautiful, warm, fun, safe, supported and an authentic caregiver. Now that I have come full circle with all sides of myself, I feel stronger than ever. I have surrendered to my feminine side and I have finally given up the masculine fight. I am safe, I am free, I am me. And that is such a beautiful thing to be.
Love & courage,
If this article resonated with you because you also feel you need to be super strong in order to be accepted, to be hard and tough to ‘survive’ and that being sensitive is weak, then you might want to join my group programme Rock Your Own World this month in which we’ll explore the theme of being fierce AND feminine at the same time and finally surrender to our natural selves. We’ll tap into our femininity and let our natural power come out, without the fight, without the struggle, but just allowing ourselves to be who we really are: wonder women with innate super powers!
Read all about it here and jump in now! It’s only € 30 per month or € 250 for the whole year (and get one month for free and a complimentary 30-minute laser coaching session worth € 149!)
A testimonial from one of the ladies in the group:
“I’m pleased to say I joined Sophie’s Rock Your Own World group three months ago. I have already learned so much about myself, through Sophie’s weekly challenges, daily posts and live sessions. I recently started up my own personal shopping business in Florence, which is very exciting but at the same time very challenging and overwhelming at times. It’s so nice to know I have the support of the other women in this group and Sophie’s professional guidance to keep me on track. I believe we can achieve things faster in groups, especially this fabulous group! I’m happy I took the leap to join, I’m looking forward to seeing what even nine more months will bring out in me. A huge thank you Sophie for keeping me motivated and empowered to live my fullest life! Cheers Meagan”