Fear can either be your friend or foe – it totally depends on how you choose to look at it.
It used to be my worst enemy while I was suffering from anxiety disorder for seven long years. I wrote all about that in this post and how it kept me stuck, circling round and round in my head swarming with worries.
Today I want to talk about how to befriend your fear and use it on your journey towards the life you desire instead. Because, you know what, what you fear is what you value. Whenever you feel fear it’s an indication that it’s something you truly care about and so you should pay very close attention. It’s a signpost saying: “right this way, my dear.”
But we often mistake it for a roadblock and turn around, back to where we came from. Back into that uncomfortable comfort zone that does nothing more than hold us hostage within our self-imposed limits.
We see fear as a limitation, but actually it’s the edge of glory. It’s that place where the old meets the new, where the line between constriction and expansion lives, where the caterpillar turns into the butterfly.
And yes, it’s scary as hell. Fear is a feeling we all wish we could avoid. Of course, because it can be all-consuming, blurring our view or even blocking out our common sense. It manifests in a different way for everyone and the way it does doesn’t matter, the fact remains that it’s a paralysing experience that we wish we could do away with at all costs.
Until you don’t anymore. Until you see that fear is your friend and it’s trying to lead you in the right direction. It’s telling you to pay attention, because you care about this, it’s not telling you to not do it, even though it does feel like that.
We’ve become so sensitive that we don’t distinguish thrill-filled fear from real life-threatening fear anymore. When you see a fire, you’re rightfully afraid and distance yourself from it, getting yourself out of harm’s way. When you, on the other hand, feel the fire of desire it can be scary as well, but that sparkling sensation that makes you curious, that makes you go and then move back, that underbelly feeling that pushes you, that is thrill-filled fear. That is the fear that means stepping into the fire is exactly what you need to do because it will light up the flame in your soul.
It will start a blazing fire that will make you feel unstoppable.
You know you want it, but you’re afraid. What if you just said: “I know I want it AND I’m afraid.” The one doesn’t necessarily need to exclude the other. Being fearless is bullshit. No one ever is. If you want to grow, you feel fear every next step of the way. Because you’re venturing out into the big unknown and of course you’re afraid, you need to be alert. And being alert is fine, it can be fun, it’s necessary. Being blocked by your fear isn’t necessary – at all.
Learning how to hold my fear, taking it with me and seeing it as an inevitable travel companion has turned my life around. The feeling I used to hate most is now my key to freedom. I take risks like a motherf*cker and I live more than I have ever lived before. I dare to lean in, fall without flying and trust that I’ll always make my way back up, because I do. I go beyond that edge, over and over again.
And now it’s actually become quite easy to feel scared, it’s part of my daily life and I fully embrace it. I know I’m a scared little girl deep inside, but I don’t make myself wrong for it anymore. I embrace her – and therefore myself – and together we deep-dive into life and feel the thrill-filled fear that makes us both feel alive beyond measure.
I explain how to hold my fear, embrace it and take it with me on my way to fulfilling my desires in my programme Take the Leap. Read more about it here and see how it can help you get to the other side of your limiting fear as well. There is absolutely no need to stay stuck in a life that you don’t feel lit up by – trust me, there really isn’t. Let’s stop wasting time, shall we? Click here to create your own freedom.
Love & courage,