I’m Happy I Got Anxiety Disorder

If I saw this title back when I still was stuck in anxiety disorder, I’d feel shocked. And I’d open the post and read it.

And that’s why I named it so, because it’s the only way to reach women in a similar situation and share the following message of hope.

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Dear, dear precious, tiny one,

I know how you’re feeling. I know how hard it is. I know you feel useless, fear that this is never-ending and you feel ashamed. You feel stupid, powerless and defeated before you even start your day. Because the thoughts get to you before you even open your eyes. Your stomach ties up before you’re even aware you’re breathing – and you know the shit show has started all over again.

I know what you worry about. You’re worrying about if you’re with the right man and if it’s a problem that you constantly worry about if you’re with the right man.

Here’s what I want to tell you:

You get to think whatever you want. You’re OK with whatever thoughts you have, whatever feelings you feel or don’t feel and whatever condition you’re in. You accepting you and you seeing you is way more important than the relationship you’re in – or aren’t in. This is your life and you get to decide, and whatever you decide it’s fine. It’s not about that. It’s about you loving you first before anyone else. It’s about looking yourself in the eye in the mirror and saying “I love you” before you share those precious words with anyone else. It’s about you feeling good in your own skin, doing things because they simply make you feel good and because they make you happy.

You’re allowed to be happy. You’re allowed to laugh, to sing, to dance. You’re allowed to be yourself because you are enough. You are a wonderful being just because of who you already are. No need to change anything, nowhere to be, nothing to do; just be you.

Once you embrace the current situation for what it is; that you’re in a place where you feel very fragile, unbalanced and suffer from those same anxiety-causing thoughts haunting you all the time and can hardly breathe or eat because of the draining feeling you carry with you wherever you go, only then, you’ll find a sense of peace.

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This is your reality right now and it’s fine. You’re fine. It will be fine. First surrender, accept, embrace and only then look for actions. They’ll come once you catch up with yourself.

This is the moment to connect with yourself, to start a love story with yourself, to treat yourself to pleasurable things and allow yourself to feel how you feel all the time. Be incredibly selfish; it will save your life.

You’ve come to this place because you’ve let others decide for you, now it’s time to find you own way; whatever that may be.

I can already share that your future involves moving to Italy, quitting anti-depressants because you’ll feel so fulfilled and then deciding to start helping others following their dreams as well in your own life-coaching business.

And that, Sophie, is why I’m happy you got anxiety disorder. Because this dark and draining place you’re in now, will one day be the source of inspiration to many others.

 It will make you softer, more understanding, you’ll learn to meditate and do yoga and you’ll share these soul-soothing self-care practices with others. You’ll become more feminine, more in touch with your intuition and you’ll dare to follow your feelings: those positive ones. Your high-sensitivity will be your guide instead of a burden and you’ll sense your way through life. And you’ll help others do the same.

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Isn’t that beautiful?

Your anxiety disorder is a gift because you decided to make it so. Because of how you are, Sophie, you will always find a solution because you always look on the bright side and you always knew there’d have been a moment in which you’d be writing a post titled “I’m Happy I Got Anxiety Disorder” to say it was all gonna be alright. You knew – and that moment is now. You’ll get there too.

You are wonderful just the way you are. Now go and take care of yourself; your answers will come when you’re ready. And you’ll be able to deal with them just fine.

Love & courage,

Sophie

2 comments

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This is a beautiful post, Sophie. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability.

/ Reply

You’re welcome :) happy you liked it!

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